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I told you this post would take a while. For one, we’ve just been getting things settled and trying to gear up for life again. However, the main reason is I just don’t want to end this trip. I know, this is the beginning of a life long journey, and I am really excited about the next chapter. But, I’ve laid awake the last few nights (while my body tries to adjust to Alaska time) and thought about our stay in China… it seems a bit surreal at this point, but hard to let go of. Oh well, enough of my pining away for China… we’re home, I’m not independently wealthy, and life goes on.

We arrived home to our family greeting us at the airport. The girls did well on the plane ride home. Carli only had a couple short-lived crying episodes. Jenna did well, but was sick and ended up having a major accident. Luckily, we had a change of clothes she could wear.

Upon arriving at our house, Carli immediately joined in playing with the other children with cars and toys… she was very much at home. She and Jenna actually made it until bedtime playing and being pretty happy. As they were with Jenna, the boys barely blinked with Carli. We knew our boys would be accepting, but they really just pulled her in and were very excited she was home.

We also have 2 cats and a dog and we weren’t sure how she would respond to those. Well, she loved them. She seems to really get excited about the cats but spends time petting and hugging Rosa, our dog, also. Another thing I wondered about was how she would like being strapped down in a car seat. We didn’t attempt it on the way home from the airport (she just survived 3 years of driving in China… I thought she could handle a couple miles through Anchorage!). But, on Saturday, we put her in and she did great; it didn’t phase her.

I think, at this point, we are successfully back in the groove of life. Jenna went through a bit of a sickness where she didn’t eat for several days, but seems to be recovering. Carli is learning English words quickly… she understands several, now, and has been repeating some. She seems very happy and likes to be close to us. Jenna is getting more comfortable with the idea of Carli being around. Although she still regresses a bit into Carli’s baby-talk sounds, she is getting less jealous and more engaging with Carli. In the morning, when they both get up out of bed, they give each other a hug and kiss… it is very sweet.

I’m not sure what I’ll do with this blog. Someone suggested I keep it going even after we arrived home, which I think is a good idea, but it isn’t just Carli any more, it is our family, and that is the next chapter, so I don’t think it is right to continue that chapter under this blog title. In the hopes of continuing on an online journal, I’ve started a new blog, mostly for myself, but also to share with others. The address is http://walchfamily.blogspot.com/.

Thank you all for being faithful readers and so supportive of our adoption of Carli.

Goodbye Guangzhou

Yes, this is it, and the post will be short because it is late and we have to still pack!!! We did our ceremonial pictures on the red couch with Mattie. We had dinner at the Thai place, ice cream, and picking out some last minute gifts.

I am very ready to be home, to see my boys, and to continue to learn about Carli and have her start learning about her new life. Can you imagine, she’s adjusted this well already and we’re living in a hotel room… she has no idea there is more ahead!

On the flip side, neither Amanda or myself are ready to leave… not at all. I’m sure some of it is just being on vacation, but I think we’ve started to become even closer to China with this trip. We have talked about future family vacations here and I think both of us have a strong desire to try and learn Chinese. I mean, we always had a desire to learn some, but I think we’d both like to be able to come back in several years and be able to communicate with people. It has been a good experience, but one we are eager to continue for many reasons.

The next post will be from Anchorage, Alaska... ahhhh. It may take a while, so be patient. It has been a lot of fun writing each night, knowing I am talking and sharing things with so many family and friends. Thank you for the encouraging comments and support along the way. We have all appreciated them.

Market walk

As I mentioned, today was a shopping day. We walked from our hotel to the wholesale jade and pearl market and a shopping mall. Along the way we walked through one of the oldest markets in China. Jophy explained many things along the way – the symbolism of certain gates, the family history of some of the markets, and what some of the goods are used for. For instance, some vendors were selling tiger claws, dried monkey, horns, and other bones. Those are apparently used for certain medicines. There wasn’t as much livestock in this area, mostly mushrooms, dried snakeskins, and other dried goods.

We did some shopping, ate the ritual lunch at Pizza Hut, and went back to our hotel to prepare for the consulate appointment. The consulate has moved… it used to be just a walk from the hotel. Now it is a fairly long bus ride to a new consulate building. All of us are in a big waiting room and there were about 60 children and their families waiting to be sworn in. This is the final step before leaving the country and so many people plan on going right from the consulate to the airport (counting on everything going right). The adoption unit of the Guangzhou U.S. Consulate is the busiest in the world. Last year over 7900 adoptions were processed through this consulate! (They do all of the Chinese adoptions.) It made me wonder what it is going to be like for this generation of Chinese children that have been adopted into the U.S.

Anyway, we made it through our appointment, took the oath, and went to do a bit more shopping and find dinner. The dinner part was a challenge. Valentine’s Day is a huge deal here… I mean huge. Everyone goes out to eat dinner and so every restaurant was packed. We finally settled on Lucy’s, a place close to the hotel, and even that took well over an hour to get served.

We are enjoying our last few days here and will be sorry to leave. Carli continues to do great about going down, which still flabbergasts me a bit. I have high hopes for the plane ride, but remain a bit guarded.

Happy days

Well, I have great great news to report… Carli Crying Countdown is retired, hopefully forever. I know you all have been in suspense, so I’ll report on this and then move on to other things.

Last night after over 35 minutes of crying I decided enough was enough. I picked Carli up, wrapped her up tight in my arms, and looked her straight in the eye and said in my best stern father voice, “You are done crying! No more, that’s it.” Well, she had stopped crying when I picked her up, but I laid her right back down into bed, tucked her in again, kissed her good night, and that was it, she went to sleep.

So, today at nap time, the story started playing out again. Once we started getting ready for a nap she started whimpering and getting sad. When I told her it was time for a nap and asked her to climb into her bed she started crying. I picked her up, used my hand to shut her mouth, and told her again that there was no crying. She stopped! Carli Crying Time = 10 seconds!!! She went down for a nap.

Then, this evening, after a bath, we got them dressed, teeth brushed, and pajamas on. We came into the room and without prompting she climbed into bed. We tucked her in and no fussing, nothing! She played with her dolls a bit, just like the first few nights she was with us. Seriously amazing. Incidentally, she is really cute in her bed. When she lays down she has two dolls – one that she had in the orphanage and a stuffed animal we brought – and she lays them down on her pillow very carefully and pats them tenderly to make sure they are tucked in. It is very sweet to watch.

But, just to give you an idea of her extremes… we had her health check today. This is just a process we go through to get basics checked before getting her visa. They check temperature, weight, height, sight, hearing, etc. Carli threw a fit at every station and was in a general bad mood there. When it came time to the hearing (the last station) the doctor had several squeaky toys and instruments to get the babies attention and get their head to turn to the sound. Well, Carli was in such a mood that she wouldn’t look at them or move her head for the sound. She just looks away from anyone or anything when she’s mad. So, the doctors didn’t think she could hear… we had 4 doctors in there at one point and Jophy, our guide, and I were working to convince them she could hear and speak fine. Finally we did, but Carli was so stubborn she would not respond to any of the noises… they were squeaking and banging everything as loud as they could all around her head and ears and she just stared off in to space, stone faced.

Today we took a taxi to Cloud Mountain, the highest mountain in Guangzhou. We took a gondola ride to the top and then walked down, at least a couple miles. It is really amazing but all over this mountain there are hundreds of people out, mostly seniors, exercising – walking, playing hackey sack, ping pong, Tai Chi, everything. It is really really cool to see how much they value physical activity and having fun together.

This evening we went for a tour of Guangzhou at night. This is neat because the buildings are lit up, the boats on the river are lit up, and the city is very beautiful. At one point we were walking along the river. Amanda had Carli ahead of us and Megan and I were walking with Jenna, holding each hand. Carli was in a real good mood and talking the whole time. Megan and I were swinging Jenna and she was laughing loudly. Carli was watching and yelling. Our guide translated for us – Carli was saying “Mei mei (little sister), what are you doing?” Carli was laughing with Jenna and yelling this. It was great!

Carli loves looking at pictures and so we show her pictures of Connor and Andrew all the time and tell her those are her big brothers (pronounced guh-guh). We also have a book that has pictures of everyone, and so we all talk about all our other family, also. Connor and Andrew have also been able to see Carli over the web and say hello to her so hopefully everyone is ready to meet and be siblings together. I know we’re ready to be whole as a family. Although, Amanda has made me swear, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a finger in my eye that this is our last one. I’m in agreement, and the next time we come back to China it’ll be as a family of 6 to do some real touring.

Tomorrow is a shopping day. We walk to the jade and pearl market nearby, have lunch at Pizza Hut, and spend some time at a mall. Then, tomorrow afternoon, we have our consulate appointment and we’re done with any paperwork. Just another day to enjoy Guangzhou… I’ll be ready to leave but I’m already thinking about our next trip back!

Some pictures... (you can click on a picture to see a bigger version of it)

Sara caught in the act

Jophy, our guide

The girls contemplated joining the dance
(notice the height difference)

Jenna did dance, a little

Mom and Carli

Cloud Mountain

This is a typical crowd we get - they all swarm us and try to talk to the girls. Jenna does well but Carli mostly ignores them

Running with the bulls!

Ok, not really, but I had a great time thinking so. I went out for a run this morning. I’ve been looking forward to this – to be able to run around and see a lot of the area around Guangzhou. So I went running through some of the back streets across the river from our hotel. There is just street upon street of shops with all sort of things – chickens (ever here of bird flu, people), pigs, goats, and yes, dogs. All the livestock is sold whole and is hanging from racks. If I have the guts I’ll take some pictures for you… it’s pretty cool.

Anyway, as I’m running through the streets there are plenty of areas where it gets pretty crowded – bikes, motorcycles, people, cars – all weaving around in these narrow streets. Many times I just launched off the sidewalk and ran in the street, dodging cars and everything. Sometimes I’d outpace them and weave around them, sometimes they’d outpace me or come up behind me. I was jamming Dave Matthews and Beck on the iPod and (at least in my mind) was running with the bulls. It was fun, and pretty normal behavior for here, but exhilarating for me. I get plenty of looks in general just because I’m a white hairy guy with a green t-shirt and shorts running with headphones on… not really blending in.

Amanda, Megan, and I all went to the wholesale children’s clothing stores today and did some shopping, which was fun. Sara went for a walk around the island, and we did some paperwork. We also met the other family from Hope for Children and had dinner with them. They are from L.A. and adopted a 16 month old girl. She was on the same waiting child list Carli was on and has a club foot. She is a beautiful girl with a very friendly face and gentle smile and seems to already be at home with her new mom and dad.

The older girls all went to pick out some fabric and me and the two young ones went down to the Swan Room (a play room) for some play time. They had a blast in there, both running around and playing with everything and everyone. However, the girls really haven’t had a bonding moment, yet, until this evening. We gave them another bath and let them play together in the bath for a while. They finally had a bonding moment. Jenna started being a bit goofy and blowing bubbles and making Carli laugh. Getting attention like that of course always encourages Jenna, and so she kept doing it and they were laughing together. Then they both started making noises and doing funny things, playing and laughing together. They’ve liked each other and done a few small things together, but this was the first genuine Carli and Jenna bonding moment they’ve had and Amanda and I were excited to see it.

Carli continues to have problems going down for bed or naps. It is pretty weird because the first several days she went down without a problem, in fact almost eagerly. Now she will cry for a half hour until she falls asleep. We comfort her and let her know we’re here, but we can’t pick her up or else she’ll never fall asleep. I think it is part of the testing and transition, but we are timing it each night hoping for some sign of improvement. Today’s afternoon nap was 25 minutes, and we’re at 25 minutes now, so it looks like we aren’t going the right direction. In general she’s not responding well to situations she doesn’t like, which is tough, but understandable given the life changes she’s going through (we think starting a new job or moving is tough!). Today when we went to get her visa picture, we walked into the shop and she saw the camera and stool and immediately started pitching a fit… she DID NOT want her picture taken. Jophy, our guide, was there talking to her and trying to help her but she wanted nothing to do with it. So, her visa picture is one of her crying… at least she was looking at the camera.

Well, I was hoping she’d be asleep my the time I finished this… no such luck. Stay tuned for the next update of the Carli Crying Countdown.

Hello Guangzhou!

There was a welcome familiarity as we drove into the driveway of the White Swan – we spent two weeks here in 2004 when we adopted Jenna. Even though I was excited about coming here again, I was a bit surprised at just how nice and comforting it was. The weather here is nice, warm, and humid. Harbin was so dry it was very soothing to get some moisture back into the lungs, the nasal cavities, the skin, etc… you get the idea. I immediately shed the shoes, the long sleeve shirt, and am seriously regretting not bringing shorts.

Today was actually a pretty hard day for everyone, but especially us and Carli. Last night, as we were packing up, she decided to start having problems going to bed and cried a lot when put down. We were packing up and I think she probably sensed something was going on and got pretty insecure. We were unsure how to handle it and so just tried holding and consoling her, but there was no consoling. She did go down for a bit, but seemed to have some discomfort because she kept whining and thrashing about. About 2am she was up again and stayed for a while in our bed, but then had to transfer to hers. By 5:30am it was time for breakfast so it was a bit of a short night for us all.

It was about a 5+ hour flight from Harbin to Guangzhou. She slept a bit on the first hop, but was up the second (we had a short stop along the way). To make a very long story short, she threw two major fits on the way – one at the layover airport and one in the airplane coming into Guangzhou. The one in the airplane was probably the biggest fit I’ve ever seen a kid throw and of course, everyone is coming over, watching, trying to talk to her (which didn’t help), and crowding around. I think at one point there was at least 20 people watching. She was inconsolable, loud, and there was nothing we could do to quiet her… it was awful.

She is an incredible sweet, funny child but when she starts crying, it is not a short-lived affair. At this point, I am dreading the plane trip home and am just hoping there is some breakthrough in these next 4 days here that will help us communicate with her. I do think part of it is the grieving process, insecurity, and disruption in schedule. However, our guide today told us this is the first adoption Hope for Children has done from Northern China, and in general there aren’t a lot of them. This province doesn’t abandon many children (which explains all the young girls we saw in Harbin). So, the children that do enter the orphanage system are very well cared for and given lots of attention. Couple that with the fact that she was the only girl with a lot of boys, and we have one spoiled little three year old. All of you reading this can say a little prayer for us. I am totally confident of Carli’s long-term development… I don’t think we could have asked for a more perfect little girl. I am just really concerned about the trip home. Guess we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Jenna was a bit of a challenge today, as well, but in general I think is doing better with Carli. She’s trying to interact and play with her more. I think her being able to walk around here, the playroom, and everything will be really helpful for Jenna. We also have another family joining us… they come in tonight so hopefully we’ll meet them tomorrow morning.

So long Harbin

Well, today was our last day, and it was sort of bittersweet. We’re all ready to move on, and we had a really good day, but it is also the end of a chapter of Carli’s life. She’s leaving her province, her friends, the people she has known. We’ll do what we can to preserve her heritage and culture, but there is still something final about it. I’m not sure she knows or not, but tonight she was a bit different than before.

We didn’t eat much lunch, and at dinner Carli didn’t want to eat anything. She acted sort of lethargic and out of it. She’s been suffering diarrhea and so that’s tough, but it seemed a bit more than that. She perked up for a bit during dinner, but only a bit. On the way back to the room she started crying, and she cried for another 30 minutes or more. She stopped for a while, had a few more trademark smiles, and then we got ready for bed. She usually goes down without a problem, but tonight that was not the case. Whenever we put her down she started crying. So, I’d hold her for a while and settle her down, and then she’d point like she wanted to go to bed, I’d lay her down, and she’d start crying again. She cried a lot tonight. Like I said, maybe she knows we’re leaving, maybe it’s the start of the grieving period for her, or maybe she’s just tired and worn out. Anyway, it was a bit tough for her but it felt good to be able to comfort her.

Like I said, we pampered ourselves a bit today. Sara, Carli, and I went to the Science Museum, which was pretty massive and pretty cool… kind of like the Imaginarium but with about another $100M pumped into it. It was pretty cool. Then, we all took turns and went and got massages, which was nice. Then we went down to the hotel restaurant for a nice dinner. We even were able to order a bottle of Australian wine (the Chinese wine we have tried so far leads a lot to be desired). All in all, it was a great day, except for Carli. I finally was able to lay her down and she is now asleep, at least until early tomorrow morning when we have to get up early to leave.

Our next post will be in 70 degree plus weather. Ahh……